117

The magic number for the Red Sox to clinch the American League East Division Title is 117.

Magic Wand: Comparisons of Wall Street and Main Street

I'm sick of hearing about the financial crisis and how we need to "take into account the concerns, not just of Wall Street, but of Main Street as well.

Magic Wand: "Midwestern Values"

Watching the DNC right now and Jesse Jackson, Jr just invoked good old fashioned "Midwestern values." What the hell is that, exactly? They have a monopoly on some sort of values out there that we should aspire to?

Important note, this is a bipartisan sin. It's really a nonpolitical thing.

What about good old fashioned northeastern intelligence and achievement? What about good old fashioned west coast creativity?

It would seem that if there were a value that should be held above others, it would involve humility. Invoking "Midwestern values" the way people do doesn't seem very humble, though.

Magic Wand: 110%

You can't give 110%. I don't care how hard you try. The maximum amount of effort you can give is 100%.

Athletes are the most common offenders when it comes to giving 110%. What they're really saying is: "we tried as much as we could this time but since we can't say we were't giving 100% every other time, we need something more than 100%."

I think anyone that says they gave 110% is either a little dishonest or a little stupid.

Magic Wand: Moot/Mute

I'm waving the wand for my wife. She specifically requested this one. She would like people to properly use the words moot and mute: they are not interchangable.

Moot
Function: noun
1: a deliberative assembly primarily for the administration of justice; especially : one held by the freemen of an Anglo-Saxon community
2obsolete : argument, discussion

Moot
Function: adjective
1 a: open to question : debatable b: subjected to discussion : disputed
2: deprived of practical significance : made abstract or purely academic

Mute
Function: adjective
1: unable to speak : lacking the power of speech
2: characterized by absence of speech: as a: felt or experienced but not expressed b: refusing to plead directly or stand trial
3: remaining silent, undiscovered, or unrecognized
4 a: contributing nothing to the pronunciation of a word b: contributing to the pronunciation of a word but not representing the nucleus of a syllable

Mute
Function: noun
1 : stop 9
2 : a person who cannot or does not speak
3 : a device attached to or inserted into a musical instrument to soften or alter its tone

Mute
Function: transitive verb
1 : to muffle, reduce, or eliminate the sound of
2 : to tone down : soften, subdue

Actually, I'm going to literally wave my magic wand

I would like you all to participate in an exercise. Don't use the words "actually" or "literally."

I would especially like it if you don't use them when speaking to me. These two words are being unnecessarily and incorrectly inserted into conversations at an alarmingly increasing rate.

Have you noticed?

This stuff happens all the time. Trends, I guess. For a long time the word "like" became so overused it was a joke. It's still overused, but it's different than "literally" and "actually." To me, people use the word "like" as a filler, the way they use "ummm" and "uhhh." They arent' really sure how to express their thoughts, either because they don't know enough good descriptive words or because they haven't decided what they really think.

In contrast, people seem to use the words "literally" and "actually" to emphasize things that don't need emphasis. And they often use them incorectly. I always cringe when someone uses the word "literally" when the correct word to use would be "figuratively."

I'm sure with the increasing traffic on this blog, the word will spread and soon the words will stop being used entirely for a time, and then return to correct usage. But just in case, I'm going to use the magic wand to remove them from the lexicon.

Icky plastic bags

If I had a magic wand, one of the things I would use it on most often would be plastic shopping bags.

Driving on the highway and they float along in the middle of the highway. Zap! Gone.

Driving down a residential street and they’re fluttering from a tree branch. Zap! Gone.

Balled up and lying in a pile of leaves, filled with water. Zap! Gone.

Massachusetts State Senator Brian Joyce has submitted a bill that would add a fee for use of plastic shopping bags at the grocery store. You want plastic? Sure. Two or three cent fee for each. I’m all for it. I’d put it higher.

I bought some of the reusable ones last year and then bought my wife some for her car. Very happy I did it and I recommend it to everyone. My wife returned the favor, buying me a reusable, insulated, soft sided lunch box.

More on the use of my magic wand in the future.