Bad judgement

New York Post cartoon today. I'm sure they have a defense for this. "The stimulus bill is dumb, it could've been written by a monkey it's so bad." Something like that. Connect it to the shooting of the chimp that went on a rampage yesterday.

But c'mon. It's so clear that this cartoon WON'T be interpreted that way by a lot of people. And the other-probably more common--interpretation is so offensive and rude that it far outweighs the very, very minimal humor achieved with the "intended" one.

How an editor didn't look at this and say: "this is not worth it" is beyond me. Apparently the NYPost didn't follow the Dennis and Callahan-METCO story a few years ago.

Song of the Day: Liar

Ah, the Henry Rollins Band provide just the right SOTD for A-Rod. Check out some of these lyrics and see if they don't fit A-Rod and his place in baseball until a week and a half ago.

And now you're desperate and in need of human contact
And then you meet me and your whole world changes
Because everything I say is everything you've ever wanted to hear
So you drop all you defenses, I'm perfect in every way
'cause I make you feel so strong and so powerful inside
You feel so lucky
But your ego obscures reality that you never bothered to
Wonder why things are going so well
You want to know why?

cause I'm a liar, yeah, I'm a liar
Ill tear (rip) your mind up, Ill burn your soul
Ill turn you into me, I'll turn you into me
cause I'm a liar, a liar, a liar, a liar...

I'll hide behind a smile and understanding eyes
And I'll tell you things that you already know so you can say:
I really identify with you, so much
And all the time that you're needing me is just the time
That I'm bleeding you, don't you get it yet?
I'll come to you like an affliction then I'll leave you like an addiction
You'll never forget me... you wanna know why?

I don't know why I feel the need to lie and cause you so much pain
Maybe its something inside, maybe its something I can't explain
cause all I do is mess you up and lie to you
I'm a liar, ooh, Im a liar
But if you'll give me another chance I swear I'll never lie to you again
cause now I see the destructive power of a lie,
They're stronger than truth
I can't believe I ever hurt you, I swear I will never lie to you again
Please, just give me more chance, I'll never lie to you again, no,
I swear, I will never tell a lie, I will never tell a lie, no, no
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! sucker! sucker! sucker!

I am a liar, yeah, I am a liar, yeah, I am a liar
I lie to you, I feel good, I am a liar, yeah
I lie to you, I lie, yeah, I lie
I'm a liar, I lie, I like it, I feel good, I like it, and again
I like it again and I'll keep lying, I promise

Sorry, A-Rod, this didn't sell either

Jayson Stark at espn.com and I agree on a few things, which is rare.

Even Dan Shaughnessy rolled over and admitted seeing the light...

Last week in this space, I wondered, why so much hate for A-Rod?

Yesterday, he answered the question. People can't stand him because he's a phony. Sure, some of his detractors are merely jealous. It's easy to hoot on him because he folds in the clutch, or because he tried cheap tricks like slapping the ball out of an opponent's glove, or yelling, "I got it," to decoy an infielder when rounding the bases. Here in Boston, people hate him because he is a Yankee. Parents and fans who embrace baseball feel cheated by those who cheated the game.

A-Rod's press conference

Rough transcript, reading between the lines...

"Hi, I'm Alex Rodriguez. I'm here today to talk about my steroid use. I admit to making a mistake. Though I'm telling you the mistake was taking the steroids, the mistake was really getting caught.

I'm going to get emotional talking about this. You'd be sad too if you were being embarrassed and exposed the way I am. Few cheaters are ever happy about being caught, especially those who have worked so hard to unsuccessfully build a positive public image.

I'm here because Peter Gammons didn't ask me enough questions, certainly not tough ones. I need you to ask me more questions so I can pretend to tell you all the facts. Here's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'm telling my story in great detail here so there will be no need for anyone to call me into a situation where, when my story falls apart as lies, I'll have opened myself up to perjury charges.

At this point, I have done all that I need to do to reach a point where any future questions can be ignored with a reference to this "full" telling of the facts.

Thank you for playing along with me."

Song of the Day: Australia

Australia is one of those places that lots of people seem to want to see. Not me. For some reason, I have no interest in every going to Australia, unless I went to a whole bunch of other places first.

I feel kind of the same about Italy and Greece. History and mythology are very enjoyable to me, but these places are nowhere near the top of my travel wish list, but I can't explain why. Years of people telling me how much they want to go or how much they enjoyed it have done nothing to change my mind.

So why the Song of the Day? I liked the song when I heard it on KJ's blog, Pointy Universe. She had a picture slide show with this song playing throughout. Funny thing is, KJ recently started doing a Seven Songs of the Day playlist on her site recently (explained) and I invited her to peruse and steal ideas from my selections. Instead, I'm stealing from her, but not something from her playlist.

The Shins, you might recall, contributed some tunes to the soundtrack of Garden State, a rare example of a movie and soundtrack that are both excellent throughout.

I'm intrigued

Through cnn.com, I found Time's list of the 25 Best Blogs, 2009. After going through the descriptions of the sites on the list, I had bookmarked 14 of them. (I had one already in my bookmarks) After a quick look at one, I quickly found another site I thought worth bookmarking for future reading.

The sites Time lists--and the ones I bookmarked--vary widely in style, substance and focus. They include blogs on science, politics, media, food and life in general.

Here are the 15 I wanted to go back and visit again.
Talking Points Memo (already had it)
Lifehacker
MeFi
Got2BeGreen
Zen Habits
Paul Krugman
Crooks and Liars
Mashable
/food (Slashfood)
Synthesis
bleat
Seth Godin
Dooce
Said the Gramophone
Bad Astronomy

The one I found through Lifehacker that I'll definitely revisit is TED, which stands for Technology, Entertainment and Design. There's a conference every year with some big names and big thinkers giving talks about some pretty interesting topics.

I'm not going to go into describing the blogs or why I felt them worth visiting. Go to the list and see if you find anything you like.

I flew on Friday the 13th, twice

I am not superstitious. So when there were plans being made for a birthday party for my sister in the St. Louis area, the fact that the most convenient time to fly out there to attend it would be Friday, February 13 did not phase me. I noted the date only with the hopes that others would not be phased by it either. Luckily, they were not. At least not enough to prevent them from going.

And this was before we knew that the night before, another plane would crash, killing all 49 passengers and one person on the ground. If there's one thing that makes people more nervous than Friday the 13th, it seems to be flying right after a plane crash.

But away we went, myself, Mrs. noternie, Sister of noternie and Husband of sister of noternie. As we sat on the plane, waiting to taxi and take off, we watched as a group of Marines, in full dress uniform, unloaded a casket-draped coffin belonging to one of two Massachusetts soldiers killed in the middle east last week. I believe it was Lance Corporal Kevin Preach.

Anyway, we flew two legs--the second of which was on one of those small 40-50 seaters--and lived to tell about it. I was going to show how unafraid I was by actually posting my plans to fly on Friday the 13th, but the party for my sister was a surprise party and there was a very remote chance she would've read my blog and then the jig would've been up.

I'm sure given the event the last two weeks and his comments, Quriltai would've strongly suggested I rethink my travel plans had he advanced notice.

The party was a big hit; Sister of noternie was completely and totally surprised by both the party and our attendance. My first foray into hunting--Brother in law of noternie in St. Louis area took me and the other brother in law out to get rabbits--was much less eventful. More on that in another post.

The Taliban making a comeback

The expertise to evaluate whether we have made things better, worse or about the same as they were before we arrived in Afghanistan and Iraq is probably held more by others than me. But this article made me wonder.

Song of the Day: End of the World as We Know It

Martial law? Complete collapse of the economic and political system?

Classic: Phoenix on Letterman

Reminiscent of the Crispin Glover appearance. Letterman's great in situations like this.

Song of the Day: Mother

Good luck to those kids.

Loose the gibberish

Aspects of our current economic crisis have been boiled down nicely into plain language by Whiskey Fire.

So, in conclusion, we're all f[----]ed because of crazy drunken teenaged priests using your credit cards to buy each other Camaros.

Follow the given link and you'll see how right that is.

Song of the Day: Walking on Broken Glass

Eggplant Parm was slated for dinner last night. I was looking forward to it. The pan was on the stove, with olive oil heating. The spaghetti pot was filled with water. I sliced the eggplant, breaded it and started it in the pan. I put the baking dish near it for easy transfer when it was ready. I turned on the oven and the burner to start heating the water for the pasta. Then I went back to the counter opposite the stove to slice the mozzarella.

KA-BLAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!

The mistake in the above paragraph is that I didn't turn on the burner to start heating the water for the pasta. That would've entailed turning on the back left burner. I turned on the front left burner. The eggplant was cooking in the pan on the front right burner and I had placed the baking dish right next to it, on the front left burner. The one I turned on. The 9x12 glass pan exploded in a very noisy way.

There was glass on the stove. Glass in the spaghetti pot. Glass in the pan with the eggplant cooking in olive oil. Glass on the plate of breaded eggplant waiting for its turn in the pan. Glass on the counter beside the stove. Glass on the microwave cart on the other side of the stove. Glass on the other counter, opposite the stove, counter and microwave cart. Glass in the dog's water and food dishes. Glass all over the floor. Glass on the kitchen table and chairs. Glass on the floor of two rooms that have entryways at opposite ends of the kitchen. Glass on the floor in the hall. Glass assumed to be all over the clean dishes in the drying rack. Glass assumed to be in the container of bread crumbs near the half-sliced mozzarella. Glass assumed to be on the half-sliced mozzarella. Glass in those little trays under each of the burners on the stove. Glass under the little trays under each of the burners on the stove. Glass on the handle of the oven.

There was a lot of glass. The takeout sushi was good, but it required eating much later and having to get dressed and go out to pick it up. So I added a couple of Jack and Cokes to my evening.

I really don't like cleaning up broken glass because I'm convinced that there's always some left.

Last week I broke a window!

Cold? It hasn't been cold here...

Unless you've been hanging around the Big Black River in Maine, please note that this winter could've been worse for you.

For your floral and plant needs

Order flowers from Winston Flowers, if you can. They deliver beautiful flowers and they have unbelievable service.

I had flowers sent to Mrs. noternie on February 2. Sure Valentine's Day is February 14, but the 2nd is a special day. It's Groundhog's Day, but more importantly, it is the day I asked Mrs. noternie to become Mrs. noternie.

Not only did her coworkers rave in fits of jealousy about what a wonderful, thoughtful, generous, loving, caring, giving husband I am, they thought the flowers looked pretty darn good, too. Actually, the flowers probably got more kudos than I did.

I got the standard email confirmation from Winston of the order and then delivery. And just now I got a phone call following up. Did she love the flowers?

This is a nice thing to do, especially because this week is the busiest of the year for the flower industry. I wouldn't blame them if they put off this routine task this week to focus on managing incoming business. But they didn't.

If they didn't look good or last, this would've been the perfect opportunity for me to complain. I had no reason. So thanks to them. Instead of a complaint, I am posting a recommendation. I think you should go buy some flowers from them.

Song of the Day: Dirty Laundry

Spare me, Randy

Great news, Randy Price left Channel 7 because he didn't agree with the sensational way the covered news or the stories they shoehorned in because they were sensational, even if they weren't local.

I'd be proud of him...if he didn't wait until 2009 to make this stand. These are hardly new directions for Channel 7 and he's been an anchor there 12 years! To be credible, the last straw should've been a looooong time ago.

George Carlin

Last night, I caught the very end of a PBS special; George Carlin: The Mark Twain Prize. Tonight I caught the whole thing on the NH PBS station. Great stuff. They had comedians such as Bill Maher, Jon Steward, Denis Leary, Gary Shandling, Richard Belzer, Margaret Cho, Joan Rivers, Lewis Black and some others talk about his career and style and then introduce classic clips of his stuff. It's one of those Kennedy Center things.

Look for it and watching it if you can. Here's a bit they played near the end. Classic Carlin.

A MODERN MAN
George Carlin

I'm a modern man, digital and smoke-free; a man for the millennium. A diversified, multi-cultural, post-modern deconstructionist; politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect.

I've been uplinked and downloaded, I've been inputted and outsourced. I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I'm a high-tech low-life. A cutting-edge, state-of-the-art, bi-coastal multi-tasker, and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond.

I'm new-wave, but I'm old-school; and my inner child is outward-bound.

I'm a hot-wired, heat-seeking, warm-hearted cool customer; voice-activated and bio-degradable.

I interface with my database; my database is in cyberspace; so I'm interactive, I'm hyperactive, and from time to time I'm radioactive.

Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin' the wave, dodgin' the bullet, pushin' the envelope.

I'm on point, on task, on message, and off drugs. I've got no need for coke and speed; I've got no urge to binge and purge.

I'm in the moment, on the edge, over the top, but under the radar.

A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary.

A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom-feeder.

I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps, I run victory laps.

I'm a totally ongoing, big-foot, slam-dunk rainmaker with a pro-active outreach.

A raging workaholic, a working rageaholic; out of rehab and in denial.

I've got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant, and a personal agenda.

You can't shut me up; you can't dumb me down.

'Cause I'm tireless, and I'm wireless. I'm an alpha-male on beta-blockers.

I'm a non-believer, I'm an over-achiever; Laid-back and fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home; low-rent, high-maintenance.

I'm super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built to last.

A hands-on, footloose, knee-jerk head case; prematurely post-traumatic, and I have a love child who sends me hate-mail.

But I'm feeling, I'm caring, I'm healing, I'm sharing. A supportive, bonding, nurturing primary caregiver.

My output is down, but my income is up. I take a short position on the long bond, and my revenue stream has its own cash flow.

I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds, I watch trash sports.

I'm gender-specific, capital-intensive, user-friendly and lactose-intolerant.

I like rough sex; I like tough love. I use the f-word in my e-mail. And the software on my hard drive is hard-core--no soft porn.

I bought a microwave at a mini-mall. I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast food in the slow lane. I'm toll-free, bite-size, ready-to-wear, and I come in all sizes.

A fully equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically proven, scientifically formulated medical miracle.

I've been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped and vacuum-packed.

And . . . I have unlimited broadband capacity.

I'm a rude dude, but I'm the real deal. Lean and mean. Cocked, locked and ready to rock; rough, tough and hard to bluff.

I take it slow, I go with the flow; I ride with the tide, I've got glide in my stride.

Drivin' and movin', sailin' and spinnin'; jivin' and groovin', wailin' and winnin'.

I don't snooze, so I don't lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty, and lunchtime is crunch time.

I'm hangin' in, there ain't no doubt; and I'm hangin' tough. Over and out.

Song of the Day: For What It's Worth

Goodbye to Dewey Martin, drummer for Buffalo Springfield, a group in which Neil Young and Stephen Stills practiced their crafts before joining some other singing group.

A-Rod

Can it be any clearer that the Red Sox were the winners when the Yankees got A-Rod?

He cheats.
He chokes in the clutch.
He cheats on his wife.
He's a selfish teammate.
He cheats.

Congrats to both the Yankees and A-Rod on that lengthy contract extension.

Song of the Day: Metal Health

It's Friday. Go ahead. Play it loud and nod that head. It'll make you feel good.

Song of the Day: Enid

The fun, goofy, ejoyable bounciness of the Barenaked Ladies. I was listening to the album Rock Spectacle the other day and remembering how much fun they are. This song isn't on that, I listened to this on Greatest Hits after Rock Spectacle did some goofy things on my iPod.

Parlor games moved online

In a nod to overwhelming demand, I cam going to take part in the "25 things" trend, which is sweeping the online world. KJ at Pointy Universe did one a few weeks ago and I read through the entire thing.

I wasn't going to do it because I didn't think people would be interested in learning 25 thigns about me. Then I realized if that were true, they wouldn't be reading my blog! So not only did I do it, I blew right through the suggested length of 25 into the 50s!!!!

Feel free to comment and react. Even send me a link to your list if you want. But if you feel the need to argue about any of these things, keep in mind that I reserve the right to invoke the "As long as you're reading my blog the truth is whatever I say it is" clause at any time.

And remember, there is no wagering.

1. My major brand choices are: Levi’s, Coke, crunchy Jif, UPS and McDonald’s.

2. When asked, I have trouble answering "what are you afraid of?"

3. If I’m in a state where the lottery goes above $100m (sometimes $50m), I buy $5 worth, just to allow myself the entertainment of dreaming what I’d do with it the winnings.

4. I’ve been known to make things up to confuse people, irritate them, make a point, or see if they are even paying attention.

5. Whatever it is, it would wake you up before it would wake me up.

6. I never believe anyone is as busy as they say they are.

7. In my house, I’m the "Idea guy."

8. A few years ago, orange became my favorite color.

9. Getting a hug from my girls is so good I have trouble describing it.

10. I invented the Tubby Dance (patent pending) and would like this noted at the time of my death.

11. My chocolate chip pancakes are the best in the world because my daughters say they are.

12. John: Thank you for the Who.

13. I have webbed feet.

14. I would do almost anything to make my wife laugh.

15. My parents are better than your parents. My wife is better than your wife. My kids are better than your kids. My sisters are better than your siblings. You might have a better dog or cat, but that's it. An I won't entertain any arguments on this, so save it.

16. Numerous people have marveled at how quickly I can fall asleep.

17. I am very curious about things.

18. I sometimes can’t believe such a wonderful woman is married to me.

19. I am a binge-drinking Dr Pepper fan; I can go extended periods without, or drink 7 cans in 2 days.

20. I wish I stopped caring what people thought much earlier in life.

21. As a kid, I told my mother that when I grew up I was going to play for the Boston Red Sox, the Dallas Cowboys and be a chef all at the same time.

22. I procrastinate. (should’ve included this earlier)

23. The only limit to what I’ll make a joke about is my company at that moment.

24. I don’t believe in a god, souls or an afterlife.

25. I’m a contrarian and have trouble controlling it.

26. When asked my age I’ve been known to pause to think before answering.

27. My wife is better than me at many things.

28. My middle name is Jorge.

29. I have a very selective attention span.

30. I think that if people were honest with themselves, we’d live in a much better world.

31. I have a horrible memory.

32. I don’t want you making a comment about me going past 25 if you’re still reading.

33. I’m not very good at matching clothes.

34. If there were a recording of Eric Clapton playing guitar nonstop for two hours, it might be my favorite song.

35. I consider myself an above average b llsh!tter.

36. I admire people that work hard, but I don’t aspire to be one of them.

37. I’m not sad when players I don’t like get injured unless they are unable to live a normal life as a result.

38. Getting kicked out of UMass after three semesters is probably one of the best things that happened to me.

39. As a child I was compared to Beaver Cleaver and Mikey, from the Life cereal commercial.

40. I love the music of Moulin Rouge. No, I’m not kidding.

41. I could have the same thing to eat for many consecutive meals and be content.

42. My favorite place on all of the earth might be a tie between Kauai and Maui.

43. When driving together, I am almost always at the wheel, my wife is most likely asleep.

44. I love horror movies.

45. My goal in life is to be more patient.

46. At my peak, I could quote almost the entire scripts from the movies: The Godfather (I and II), The ‘Burbs, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Midnight Run, Throw Mama from the Train and Platoon.

47. The guy at the bank’s name is Mr. William J Cranshaw, Jr.

48. Band was one of the most enjoyable parts of my life.

49. I love blueberries and cranberries.

50. I’m so insecure that I don’t believe more than a few people will read this far.

51. I don't see much value in complaining. If I catch myself complaining, I try to stop and just "take it for what it is."

52. Noting something that someone is doing that they shouldn't be doing is not complaining; it is constructive criticism.

53. I'm going to think of 493 more things to include on this list after I publish it.

It's getting so bad...

I love my niece and nephews and would do anything I could to help them. Same for other various children my wife and I know and support when they come to us with school fundraisers.

I do not blame the kids for the constant fundraisers, which seem to start before actual learning does each September. I don't blame their parents.

But when does it get to the point that they just come to us with the local tax bill and ask us how much we'd like to chip in? Rather than pages with columns and ordering information they could send them out with credit card machines.

Song of the Day: Plowed

A longtime favorite from the band Sponge. Good, straightforward, guitar-based rocker.


Yes, once again, there were plows circling the neighborhood last night. Once again, they were too late to be of any benefit to people coming home from work, but that's what we get for living on a road less traveled. The extra time also allowed me to get out and shovel some of the snow in the street that would've been plowed into a pile at the end of the driveway that might've been stacked higher and hardened by the time I returned to shovel it in the morning.

Song of the Day: American Pie

I don't want to be too critical here. But I was never a fan of Richie Valens. And while Buddy Holly may have been one of the most influential early rock pioneers, I think his real power was realized by people who saw what wasn't there before he was. Taken out of that context, I think his music suffers more than, say, The Beatles. Elvis has this problem to a certain extent, too, I think. But not Louis Armstrong. Strange, eh?

Anyway, thinking about commemorating what was no doubt a significant event in music and American history, I couldn't post the entire "Peggy Sue Got Married" (Kathleen Turner, Nicholas Cage) so I'm pointing to the other related piece that provided me more entertainment than the music of the Big Bopper, Richie Valens and Buddy Holly.

If it weren't for their deaths, this song never would've been around for me and a dozen college kids to sing at the top of our drunken lungs three times a week.

$#@%*!

"Santos, with wife Roberta, family and colleagues at his side, signed off for the last time. The South Coast native will continue his New England Patriots broadcasting duties."

Pictures; worth seeing just to get a glimpse at his amazing purple nose in shot four.

Super submission

One of my favorite Super Bowl ads was done by amateurs.

Song of the Day: Bawitdaba

My name is Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid. Kid ROCK!!!

This tune rocks, big time!

Listen to the tune and then watch this enjoyable message to kids.

My three favorite Super Bowl Ads