You are looking live at....

[Booming Musberger voice]
"You are looking LIVE at Wichita, Kansas.

[Musberger, halting suddenly]
No? Wait. Let's do it again.

[Booming Musberger voice]
You are looking LIVE at Greensboro, North Car...What?

[Confused] No? Ok, let's try it again.

[Booming Musberger voice]
You are looking LIVE at Orlando, Florida where...What?!

[listening to earpiece]
Then what the hell are we looking live at?

[listening to earpiece]
That's Boston? Is that on the BC Campus? BU?

[listening to earpiece]

[booming, incredulous]
That's the Boston Garden!??!?! No, I know it's the [mocking] TD Banknorth [/mocking] Garden now and it's not the old building, but still. Don't the Celtics still use the famous Parquet floor?

[listening to earpiece] I thought so, and didn't they move all the Championships banners and retired numbers from the Celtics and Bruins over from the old place?

[listening, nodding]

[back to booming, this time angrily] Then can someone give me a god-damned explanation why I can't do my signature introduction of the Boston Garden because the friggin' court looks like it was built in China, sold through Wal Mart and installed in a bubble in East Middle Nowhere, America? Isn't it bad enough that we can't keep track of the carousel of coaches at these schools and the players that only stick around for a year or two? That teams from the West bracket are playing in the same building as teams in the East bracket?

That's not enough? Now the NCAA feels like its necessary to turn every venue into a milquetoast soundstage for TV? They don't even want the people that travel to Boston to sense the history and tradition of the local franchises?

[calmer, but still irritated]
Now that I think of it, is there any reason to believe we're looking live at anything? They might've played these games two weeks ago to make sure they could redo the endings to make them more dramatic. Actually, no, the tournament would be much better this year if they had done that.

Ok, get ready, I'll do this again...

END

Did you see they put Boston College logos on the court? Real local flavor. Any reason they're the only Boston school that plays Division I basketball in town that has their logo on the court? Seriously, don't BU and Northeastern also play in town?

PS--Sorry Sean. Mrs. noternie was mad that Duke lost, too. Not as mad as she was that Memphis lost, but they both damaged her brackets. She and I both had Memphis winning it all. 'Course I had Duke losing much earlier, out of spite more than scouting. :-)