Suggested reading

I've been a fan of Pointy Universe for several months now. There have been a couple of individual posts I've even recommended here and here.

She's been posting some very well-written and compelling posts since the New Year. Unfortunately, they are about her diagnosis and experience seeking treatment for breast cancer.

There's a guy where I work whose wife is going through a very similar experience. The timeline is similar and for a second, I almost thought KJ from Pointy Universe might be the wife of my coworker, in disguise.

KJ has been kind enough to comment here and I enjoy her blog so much I felt compelled to send her some good wishes. But I don't really know her, I've just read her blog. I sent her something very plain, short and simple. She clearly has people very close to her who know her well (and in real life) that have been supporting her.

The same is true of my co-worker's wife. I know him, but not her. He and I have long, spirited conversations and debates about the Patriots. They always end with escalating voices and someone storming away, but laughing as they do so. Last year, the week after the Super Bowl, he came to my office doorway. I said not a word, simply rose, walked to the door and closed the door in his face. He understood.

But I haven't seen him much since news of his wife's health spread around the office. To be honest with you, I was kind of dreading seeing him. He's no doubt been repeating every latest detail to tons of people and probably didn't want to repeat them all one more time, I figured. I was afraid any attempt to discuss it with him would only depress him. (People have been sending flowers and cards to the house and it has been a bit too much like a funeral parlor for them, I'd heard) So I sought updates from another guy who is close to him and when I saw him, we were heading in different directions, engaged in other activity or were surrounded by others. The only time we sat one-on-one for a conversation, someone came in within ten seconds.

Today he came in and sat down. We talked Patriots a little. I told him I didn't want to bring him down and he didn't have to talk about it, but I wanted to let him know I was wishing them the best.

About a half-hour later he had told me many of the grim details. She has a less common, more deadly form of breast cancer than KJ and things don't look good. Still, it sounds like they've got their heads in the right place. They're taking a realistic look at their options and doing what they feel works for them.

My heart breaks for both of these women and I wish there was something I could do to help them and the loved ones around them. It's been sad, but amazing, reading and hearing about how courageous they've been.