Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A-Rod's press conference

Rough transcript, reading between the lines...

"Hi, I'm Alex Rodriguez. I'm here today to talk about my steroid use. I admit to making a mistake. Though I'm telling you the mistake was taking the steroids, the mistake was really getting caught.

I'm going to get emotional talking about this. You'd be sad too if you were being embarrassed and exposed the way I am. Few cheaters are ever happy about being caught, especially those who have worked so hard to unsuccessfully build a positive public image.

I'm here because Peter Gammons didn't ask me enough questions, certainly not tough ones. I need you to ask me more questions so I can pretend to tell you all the facts. Here's my story and I'm sticking to it. I'm telling my story in great detail here so there will be no need for anyone to call me into a situation where, when my story falls apart as lies, I'll have opened myself up to perjury charges.

At this point, I have done all that I need to do to reach a point where any future questions can be ignored with a reference to this "full" telling of the facts.

Thank you for playing along with me."

1 comment:

Suldog said...

Very good. Thank you for the translation into realspeak.